Skipping a few chapters ahead due to certain reasons..

Only need the light when its burming low. Only miss the sun when it starts to snow. Only know you love you love her when you let her go. Only know you've been high when you're feeling low. Only hit the road when you're missing home. Only know you love her when you let her go.

Right now, 10.23pm, 16.12.2013, I feel horrible. Real bad. Idk if its bad or just that i'm going through things.. Lately, i've been soft inside. Soft to the point that I can cry watching a dance that is full of emotions. Yes, I can strongly feel the emotions and read the story of their dance. And there's the story that contributes to that flow of emotions. I watched Step Up Revolution. To my surprise, I teared watching it. Maybe cause I can relate to it? Idk. But since before common test, I've had mixed emotions inside of me. I can be happy at one point and angry at the next. I'm also easily moved amd agitated. At one point, I was pissed, maybe not. But close.. It was after Haem paper. My blood was boiling and my head is overheating. I couldnt really stay in sch to study cause I know if I get a nonsense or so much a finger laid on me, i'll erupt. So I went back home early for that reason. And today, I raised my voice at least once, not on purpose, but I did. And I wanted to blow but I held back cause I knew i'd find myself in a worse state if I blew my top off.. I have my family and friends for that. But I need someone to talk to. I have options but I also have reasons. Right now my best bet is Hannan, but i'm scared that if sth slips out of his mouth, i'd turn the tables around. Though thats only a small probability, maybe more... I still have to consider. Dont worry hannan, i'll talk to you :) next on my list is my besties since 05 nation began. I'm finding a hard time to get this two fellas. Fadhli is somehow MIA. Maybe he went malaysia or something... And norman. I'm waiting for a chance that he'd drop by now, but i'm outta luck. Last but not least, Halim. I miss him as much as how I miss spending time with my family.. I'm trying my hardest to be a good man, but i'm starting to change. Slowly, but deep down, I dont want it to happen. I cant distract myself enough to not let it happen. Now, i'm trying to hit the bars to let myself loose. It works I guess, but it aint enough. Moreover, with my shortage of cash, im limited in my options. And my dad blew it just now. And my mum seems to be the same. Idk if it will go on or if its just a short thing.. Whichever it is, I need a light.

When you lose your chance to succeed when given the opportunity, do you seek for another or let it be? Its a choice you have to make. Something to think about..