Haikal. When the fire burnt out, so did your spirit. Left me in darkness, without a guide. You missed your chance, so it came to me. Alone on this journey, with no one by my side. It could have been the both of us, going through thick and thin. It could have been a life on the track we shared. Supporting each other as we faced obstacles. When you left, I was speechless. You were the only one whom I could count on. You gave me your word that you'd still be there, but as you drifted away, it all disappeared along with you. We had something to start out with, but it ended in tragedy. Now i'm going downhill with no pillar of support. No one can replace you, no matter who it is. There's sth special about you that no one can ever fill. You were my rival. You were close friend. We started poly life as one, but didnt finish it tgt. I dont even know how this could have had happened. But in myself I blamed, for not being able to help him. And now, he's lost in the real world, aiming not as high as he should be. I dont even see him anymore. I only see him during outings or sth. Please turn to the right path and stop wasting your time.. I have to face this problems alone cause no one understands. I took the role thinking its a simple task. But its not. Not when im a simple boy with nothing to start with.. I'll let it out when I wake up. All of it.

Second week of sch guys! And I can say that somehow, my body clock is working fine. Too good I might say. I had no problem waking up at 6am since sch started. Hahaha. Too excited I think. I just hope it continues till the end of the semester. Had my morning prata! One egg one kosong. Dont wanna eat a lot cause it might make me sleepy on a full stomach. Yes, I am thinking it through for all the things I do. Well, most of it anyway. Yesterday, my dad shared some stories when we went to visit someone in the hospital. Old people have a lot of stories to share from their younger days. They were more dramatic and adventurous. I feel like I belong in the wrong generation. I want the type of life my father had. I am proud of him. He's a role model I look up to. Being the eldest of three children, he would always protect his younger sisters. He lives by a principle whereby he doesnt trouble the people around him. I'm just like him, in the mind. But because I follow more closely to my religion and my belief, I dont have an outstanding adventure. If I dont follow my belief and virtues, I would have probably ended up in the police station or something. Hahaha yes, I am that badass. But mostly because I dont release my anger and frustration easily. But I know I have to let it go sometime. But my way of doing it simply by admiring nature's beauty. Its simply breathtaking~ truely.. I had the idea of becoming a #yolo dude aft my dad shared some of his stories, but I thought it through and decided it wasnt time. I need to stabilise first.

Sid tracking, this morning I had a dream. Two actually, that I could recall ofc. In one of them, I met and dated a girl named Natalie. She was the girl I saw at west coast recreation centre. Only zuhairi and halim have seen her. Freaking attractive to me sia! Its hard to describe her. Just dayumm~ hahaha. Considering it happened quite some time ago, and only saw her once, dreaming of her is quite unusual...

But then again, I had a little convo with kyle and desmond (my classmates) about dreams and all. Maybe its something I yearn for right now. My strongest desire I couldnt see or sth I was distracted away from. It doesnt have to be that "natalie", but just a relationship. Sigh... I just have to face it, I aint ready. But the thing about thia topic is that we have to take that leap of fate. Take a chance in every turn. Doing things we never thought we'd do. I'm burning inside right now~ lol xD

Also, I dreamt of having a short conversation with kian chong. He's one of the best sprinters sprinter in NP now. He told me he wasnt taking part in polite but was going for ivp. he was focusing on building up his strength in the gym more as a preparation for the competition. Maybe this dream is telling me something? Sigh... I dont know. Polite is drawing near. Its a month away and i'm still nowhere near my target.. :(

Heyy peeps! Its been a long while since I last posted. It was the holidays! And supposingly, it was the time to blog more. But apparently, I was too busy every now and then that I forgot that I even had a blog. Omg I am terrible at this things. Unless my life or sth is on the line, I will definitely rmb to do things. Well, the holidays are officially over! Part of me is glad that it is over. Why? Idk. Maybe its because I want to occupy my time. Long holidays to me is like a waste of time. Unless i'm working of course which isnt the case. Hahaha. I'd rather learn sth new. But I'm not really the independent type when it comes to my free time. I lepak all day all night. I cant push myself to do sth which doesnt have the "important" or "passionate" label on it. I just cant. Oh hey, this morning I had one totally weird dream! Okay here's how it went!

I was like on the train, going to Tan Tock Seng Hosp (TTSH). At first, I was with two other guys. Both were my classmates, but I cant rmb who. So in my dream, TTSH was sort of like a haunted area. Really haunted. So I was otw there, and the mrt route was different. It was near changi airport, and TTSH was a station by itself. But the route was sth similar to that of the bp lrt route, with the loop. As I was saying, I was otw there. Then, for some reason, my classmates alighted before TTSH. We were holding a javelin, two of us anyway. He passed me his and said, "I pity you malays. You all can see them", or sth along the line. I was of course stunned. Since when could I see such things?? So I rubbed my eyes and tried to see what I thought I couldnt see. Then at one station, most of the passengers alighted. The background suddenly changed. Fog started to kick in. Idk why. It was prolly TTSH, but I couldnt realise it. Then I looked around. Nothing seemes to be out of place, other than the creepy atmosphere. Then I saw something. It was a face floating around, looking straight into my soul. I was freaked out. So I turned away and tried to see if there were more. (wtf right? Its like in the movies or sth. You see sth scary and you try to look for more). Then at the same time, I started reciting the surahs that I know of. This was a long while in my dream, and u was feeling so relaxed~ Then I heard the voice of someone. He was also reciting the surahs. It was like an ustad. then two aunties came in and sat beside me. They said "i prefer the ustad at (name of some place). The ustad here is like a kid and not smooth". Then, the train started to move and leave the station. As we moved, I saw the ustad. And he was a kid. He was the voice that I had heard while I was at the station. Aft as we were moving away, the ustad's face changed. He looked shocked. Not just shocked, he was terrified. As though an army was about to strike him that instant. Then I got the chills~ creepy siol. I looked around once again for no absolute reason. Then I turned to my 7 o'clock and saw a kid ghost. Wtf. Not a toyol, a ghost. Mini size. And my first reaction was to poke it in with my javelin. Somehow I poked through the glass and it didnt break or anything. Why? Cause its a dream thats why. Hahah. So it like flew away from the train. It was angry when I last saw him before he disappeared from my sight. Feeling guilty, I constantly screened the train every now and then. Freaking scared. Like anytime i'll get attacked or sth. Then, not long later, I then realised I had passed ttsh. So I got up of my seat. I was damn frustrated. Lol. Suddenly, I saw the ghost kid flying in the direction of ttsh. I was surprised. Idk how or why, but I jumped out of the window and followed him. So I flew behind him. Apparently, I now somehow know that sth had happened to my friends and other ppl. Then me and the ghost kid became friends. Lol. We flew to a tunnel that was huge. And there was a sign saying "bishan park" so I was guessing I was at a tunnel connecting bishan park and ttsh. Aft that, when the ghost kid and I were going in and towards the end of the tunnel, we heard a voice. She was trying to break down the barrier that stood in the tunnel. I recognised that voice. Tiffany? She answered, so yea, it was her. Then, I tried to knock the barrier down. Eventually, the rocks and barrier collapsed and I saw tiffany emerged from the other side! I hugged her, feeling relieved. The end.

Hahaha idk what the dream was about, but it was a dream after all.. Lol. Took me some tine to finish this post sia. Freakkin busy and always on the move... Hahah adios~