SALAM TO ALL!! SYAWAL IS HERE AND I WISH ALL OF YOU SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, a.k.a SAFE DAY FESTIVE!! Hahahahah I shall update after most of my exams are over, which is next week~ teeheee. Enjoy yourselves and have a lovely week ahead~ :)

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

There's s many things on my mind right now. for the past week. i cant even focus my attention to study. seriously, i'm lagging behind. there's so many chapters to study, and with exams in 5 days, i've only covered like 2-4 chapters. damn it. First of all, my mind is totally distracted. from studies and on other things like friends, family and Allah s.w.t . what if i flunk in my studies all the way and be a nobody. where will i go? i know of people who have had failures in their life. but they still carry on. but what if my fall is too hard and its gonna take more than just more studying to pick me back up. sometimes the pressure i get from others get too great that i can't even look at myself and say, stay strong. the sad thing about my life, is that when others are in need, when they are in confusion, when they have troubles, when they don't know who to turn to or what to do, when they feel like giving up, when they feel like they are worse than trash, and if i know that they are in that kind of situation, i'll be there to give a helping hand. i'll be there to give them moral support in every way i can. cause if you cant see any good in you, you need another person to tell you how beautiful you are from a different perspective. for me, i tend to look in every angle i can. so i can somewhat judge and help from the best approach. i may be wrong, but at least i try.. but when i fall into an endless pit, i keep falling and no one knows. "everybody know, but nobody really knows"  there are a few who helps me out, but its just not enough. i'm a burden. studies are important, and i know that. but what i believe in is that while studies are important, the people around me are more important. that's the path i choose to take. studies come in third. first is religion, although i don't show it and practice as much.

in everything, there are rules. those who break them are scums. but those who abandon their family and friends are worse than that. 

where i see myself in the worst case scenario? having a 2.5k job throughout my life alone. the best case? having a 5k job with awesome company. but realistically, i see myself with at least a 3k job aft 2 years working. but for now, i gotta pull through poly life. i kinda suck at it, but i gotta do what i gotta do..

"Look for the good in the bad, the happy in your sad, the gain in your pain, and what makes you grateful not hateful - Karen Salmansohn"

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

1/8/2013
Is this it? Is this the moment for me to make a change? I feel as though my heart is trying to tell me something. Its really strong this time. I cant even hold it in. At times like this my life just flashes in my head. For the past few days, i've been turning soft and weak inside. Powerless.. Its like another part of me is emerging from within.

When you escape from the busy world and take it slow for a while in the community, you see things differently. You get to see what life really is. People working their with their heart and soul. And not like some mindless zombies. Characters shows when you have to work with people. Not just some random people, but those who are living with you and would be the ones helping you when you are in need of immediate help. Your neighbours in a way.. And who taught me all this without saying much? The elderlies. They are wise and knowledgable. Sometimes I wonder if I would be like them when I grow old. I would rather scarifice my body for them than to work my ass off to live in singapore. What would life be without character and tradition?

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

27/7/2013
On this fateful day, pledge my allegiance to a balance lifestyle among my religion, my studies and my passion for Track & Field. I have my goals set for the next 2+ months. Hopefully I can accomplish what I have set for myself. The only thing that can hold me back is $$$. I am financially insecured and I doubt I can survive without working during the holidays. I can estimate that I need at least $80 per week to survive. Thats an average cause i'm maybe getting some suppliments for recovery.. But I think my duit raya can cover up for that a bit. Lol. So basically whats my plan? For the next month, i'm gonna mug for my exams. It sounds brutal.. Well, cause it is. Pushing myself through wont be easy I can assure myself. 10+h of intense studying everyday when I can will take a toll on my life til its all over, esp when raya is coming up, falling just before my exams. The pressure is on man! Once its over, im gonna slowly revise what I leartnt since year 1. Why? Cause every damn thing is related. Except for IS. IS is so not for me. Lols. Then maybe in the next sem, im gonna be on par with the 5th smartest/hardworking guy in class. Inshaallah :)
As for my track, I have the next month to myself. But accounting for exams, I say I have about a week to myself.. Sian.. I was really hyped up for my self training. Cause thats when I push myself to my limit at my own pace. Do my own excercises that will help me improve on what I really lack in. The last time I did that, I achieved my unofficial PR. When training resumes, I can safely say that I wont be present all the way. I will have to manage myself and distribute my time accordingly..  And by saying that, a timetable is one of my to-do-things. Gym. That is definitely on my list. And i'm gonna have to gey stronger. My target is to full squat 35kg aside with no assistance. And 50kg aside for half squat. Thats a whole lot of weight brother... Hahah. The last time rmb. In sec 3, I cant even squat 50kg. If anyone rmb, novell's bday party... Lol. Well, now I can squat about 25aside? Hahah. And not forgetting sprints. I gotta run faster. And increase my controllable speed. Hahah even though thats not my style~ before I forget, I need a a camera for training.  Cause I need to know my technique. Hahah since last tome sia I kept saying that. Only did that for a few trainings. Hehehh. Watch out. I'm gonna emerge strong and be like my local idol, Azlan, and international idol, Lapierre. Hahaha. They inspire me so much! :D
Lastly, I will change my ways for the better. Learn more as I go. Learn from my mistakes as well as from others. Do what others wont so that tomorrow, I can have what others cant.
There are no shortcuts to great success. You can define success in any way you want, but to me, its achieving something that you were once far from reach.
"I'm far from perfect, there's so many lessons I can learn"

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)