Well i am so fucked up right now after an awesome day! Just fuck la sia. Today really roller coaster ride. Knnccbpmk ah sial. Where should i start..? From the top? I'll make it fast. So i went to sch for training in the morning. Reached sch at 645am. Intended to start trg early and end it by 11. Well, today is gymming, so i asked a few ppl to tag along. There was karloke, a track senior. He didnt turn up due to personal reasons. Halim, who couldnt wake up early to gym. And hannan. Lol. Well, i ate breakfast at 7. A breakfast set like good old times, with 2 extra eggs. So i ate 2 pc kaya bread, and 4 eggs w teh si. Saw some familiar ppl involved in baoc. Then i slacked at cca clubroom for a while til 8. Arranged to meet hannan at 9 in sch. Well, i reached the grandstand, and guess what. Baoc came crashing into my territory. Well, at least i'm a nice guy who doesnt chase them off the track when they used it. Played it cool and stayed cool. Watched them carry out their things. Saw a lot of cute girls and a few hot ones~ lol but i wasnt interested. Then i go fitness corner and did 6 muscle ups and 8x4 pull ups. Did that while waiting for hannan. Then i rested and slept in several positions. Then they started leaving, and i started warm up since hannan reaching soon. So i warmed up and streched. then hannan came. He came at 1030. Wow. At least he had a VR. His grandma was admitted to the hosp. She too old for doing daily tasks like gg toilet and stuff. Then she vomitted uncontrollably and other stuff. Thankfully she okay.. So we went gym, i did legs, hannan did upper body. We saw charmaine teh also. + point. Lol. Then we ate at poolside and went off to meet zu at clementi, and halim at pasir ris. And we set off to WWW, wildwildwet. Im not in the mood to say much, so here's a summary. We circled the lazy river twice, did the slide, half pipe and back to the lazy river. We talked to this lifeguard, and apparently we became friends.  her name was Kim. She's friendly and nice. When we lapped the river, norman came and changed. He wore white pants. Duhh, he had to cover it cause we could see through it. Hehehe. Then he changed and wore over a red pants. We intro him to Kim and we kept seeing her when we were there. Had a small chat every time. Oh, i was wayne, hannan was hannan, halim was john, zu was jack and norman was norman. Lols. There were 2 lifeguards that were pretty. Well, halim asked for one of their names, Annway. Well, i didnt ask cause i din want aything to happen. Was it a mistake? I mean for a reason i think is valid. I'll get to that soon. Then i got the other girl to hold my hand and help me up at the half pipe. When it was all over, we went to bath and change. Well, zu lost his wallet and we went all over the place looking for it. Then, finally, we checked the guest relation office. Fortunately, one of the workers, Francis, found it. Then went to eat dinner with Kim. We ate at Popyes cause norman had a 50% discount coupon on a lot of offers. I ate 2 meals with the coupon and a large mashed potato. Well, it was delicious and worth the money. Less than $10 in all. Hahah thanks norman :) then, the reason i sulked all the way back home.. Halim and hannan saw me in that awful state. I'd keep quiet and just stare into space. That moment.. If you see me like that, sth definitely happened. And if i say i'm okay, i'm definitely not okay.. The thing is, i wasnt really friendzoned by sufiyah, more like acquaintance-zoned. And not only that, her words are are sharp and harsh as hell. When a girl says, "why do i even need to go out with you?" oh you know you're screwed. Its in your face. In my face. Well fuck it.
FUCK IM NOT EVEN IN THE RIGHT PLACE TO ARGUE WITH YOU OVER SUCH A THING. THAT IS JUST IT. ITS ME, I AM TOO NICE AND SHE'S TOO INNOCENT. I CAN DO THIS, I CAN DO THAT. "BUT WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED TO DO IT??"
Its not a need, but a want. But i cant even do that. Fuck the whole universe sia. I cant do anything in peace. It may be peaceful in the environment, but not mentally. I dont know how long i can last.. The last time i tried, i could ony stand 1 month. Idk if i can do it. Oh, rmb why i din ask for the girls' name? Cause i have my limits to being cheeky w girls. I can go so much further if i could, i its a matter if i want to or not..
I can do this again, repeat history, but at a higher level and difficulty. Cause there is sth different about sufiyah.. Idk what it is, but it is definitely sth incredible. If i were to wait, it'll probably take a few years just to get close to her.. Idk what to do la! I cant let it go!! I cant let it out!! Well i have plans but idk if it'll be worthwhile. I'll just have to wait and see~~


YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)