So I had lightning powers. But I was unable to control my powers fully. I first discovered it when all of a sudden bad guys started attacking me. I was going out of hall, where there was a dinner event or something. Well, sufiyah was there. There and then in my dreams, I think I was more than a friend to her. Well that escalated quickly.. She was more happy to see me and more. Her smile melted me man! I forgot how it felt like to be smiled at by someone special.. Hahah. So as I walked towards the exit, a hammer was thrown from behind and smashed into the wall a few inches away from me. Two more hammers were thrown. Each one I evaded but it smashed through the glass door and window. I saw the person throwing the hammers and I ran out. More came flying at me, but I doged them with ease. It was scary nonetheless. Then, it stopped. I turned around and saw this freaking beast that was in the sky. It was dark and all. I call it, The Fuckinator. Then it threw some flying fucks at me. Hahah. I was with someone. Cant recall who, but I believe the person was a she. I'll just name her "Girl". Lols. So flying fucks were coming at us and we destroyed them with our skills and powers. Obviously Girl is the one with skills and i'm the one with powers. I used my awesome lightning powers for defence. But then idk why, for some reason in my dreams, I cant use my powers when there's natural lightning. So I almost died by a flying fuck, but Girl saved me. LOL. Later on, Girl got injured and I led her back to the hall. But apparently, the Rift of Worlds was at the door. Luckily I was able to destroy it with my awesome lightning powers!! Woohoooo! But flying fucks were still thrown at me. I had to move away once Girl was brought to safety. So I went out and go out on a rampage to destroy the Fuckinator. Bolts of lightnings everywhere hit that piece of shit. He got fried and died without giving me a good fight. Tsk.

The dream goes on for another 3 scenes, in which I learnt how to control my powers and destroyed trees and buildings in the process. Then I rmb saying this to sufiyah, "no matter what, i'll protect you with my life". Seriously, I was even close to her parents when we made a quick stop at her house. Lol. I liked having lightning power siol. Shockingly awesome! Hahahah. I realised in my dream that I dont really have anything to protect or save. Like last time, I wanted to save a good friendship that was dying. Or save myself from a bad future. Or to protect my friends from shitholes. Now, I dont know whats worth fighting for.. I'm missing my treasure in my life. Getting something is easy. But keeping it is a whole new thing. Its more difficult, but worth while. I'm missing that piece right there. I cant make use of the opportunity that is not given to me. I cant take the first step if there is nowhere to go. I cant tell where to go if no sign given. A machine cant work if there's a missing piece. You cant swim if there's no water. You cant breathe if there's no air. Thats all I can say.. Peace out~

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

Its early in the morning, 7.50am!! Well, its not that early, but its early enough to have me waiting for norman while he takes his time to bathe and come to lot one. That'll probably take him about half an hour more. It has been 15-20 min since I reached here. Now i'm all alone in mac waiting for him. Good job norman. And I thought I was late since I overslept for half hour. Woke up 630, gave norman a wake up call of some sort and I went back to sleep. Why? I swear my body aches all over right now.. Well, I have resumed my training since i've been feeling a lot better after taking the new medication. Idk if its the drugs or my body and mind. I mean, after 2 wks being sick and i'm left with 1 month for holidays, my mind is worked up. So I assume my brain sends signals to my body to strengthen my immune system and fuck all the bad boys in my body. I'm still recovering, but i'd give myself 1-2wks more til I fully recover from this shit. I've been disturbed from my sleeps cause of the awful cough. 3-5 times per night, I would wake up and cough terribly. But now at least it decreased to like once or twice. My phlegm is somewhat going away.. But the thing about my cough is that there is like only a one-way passage for air. So when I cough and take in air, its hard to breathe out and I gasp for air deperately.. Like kena asthma. Sigh.. Okay, enough bout my lousy immune system that has suddenly failed me. Okay, maybe the illness is too strong for me. I've only experienced healthy and horrible illness, not so much of those mild sickness.. Heheheh :>
For starters, my training has resumed and I can say that if I continue to progress, I will definitely an improvement in my performance. Had my track training on monday. Had to run 2.4km. Well, I hit below 15min, which is dumb, but my stamina is weak. Not weaker, I think I maintained. But the run was hell with me not physically conditioned. But I finished with Haikal first. Did other workouts which got my whole leg shaking. Almost fell down walking down the stairs. So it wouldve been a double down. Hahah. Oh, from the training, my upper body performance was in par with mengster, an alumni who is fit. He can do more muscle up and other shitzz, including handstand, which I cant even do. Lololol. Im getting there though. Hehee. And yesterday, I had my chest training again. Did a whole lot of dips. Until I almost lost my arms. Lol. Did 15 sets of 15. Which adds up 225, if im not wrong. Previously, I did 10 sets of 8. Yeap. I improved. At least I pushed myself :)
Oh, and sufiyah replied. After a long long while. Idk what  to do la. It seems that I dont really what to expect. Theres this very barrier that I cant seem to overcome. I mean idk the next step I should take. I dont want to disturb or poke a person when there's no progression taken place.. Its like punching someone who just called you names. Or take food from someone when he/she is eating by themselves. Or making a phonecall when she doesnt even reply to my messages. Or asking her out when im being ignored. Ignored for reasons I clearly do not understand. I cant possibly understand things I have not much information of. Its either im a coward or im just too stupid. Ive been through a path in which I became friends with a girl. A girl whom I find attractive and  I adored. She was none other than elaine. From a friend, to a very good friend. She said that I was the best malay friend she ever had, in a non-racist manner. That was something I didnt expect she would say. She doesnt really mingle with malays, but I managed to overcome that barrier. I've said all these before. And well, the reason I came to this is cause i'm watching "you are the apple of my eye". And I reached the scene where the main characters came into an arguement. Here's the main convo. (Yellow for guy, Red for girl)
"Fine. I am childish! And thats why I would go after such a good school girl like you. I am this naive so I could chase you for so long."
"Stop trying then."
The guy walks away in the rain..
"Idiot!"
"Right! I am an idiot!"
"Moron!!"
"Only a moron can keep on trying to chase after you for such a long time!"
"You dont understand anything!"
"No, I dont understand anything!"
That was the part that triggered my memories and broke my into tears. There were other really touching and sad scenes that made me cry. The really touching one was the second last part. The scene when the group of friends took a picture tgt after the wedding dinner. Oops, spoiler alert. That scene really made me cry like a baby. Its really a touching movie. Maybe cause I had like a similar story. Only the ending was different. Well, maybe not. But I think it is. I'd recommend you guys to watch the movie, "you are the apple of my eye (2011)". Its a taipei movie, but it has subs, so no worries. You can learn some chinese while watching too. But the ending a bit.. Hahahah. :P Gonna have a movie marathon and not sleeping tonight. Maybe watch the sunrise somewhere, be emo for a while.. Think of things i'd wanna do with my life right now. Heheheh. I was having quite a bad evening ah. Pissed off somehow. Got irritated easily.. Well, i'll blog more soon~ gonna watch "a litre of tears", a movie elaine recommended to me, which I have yet to watch.. Heh. I still miss her somehow.. When I saw her that day at lot one, I really wanted to meet her, but there was this part of me that stopped me. Frankly speaking, I miss her. But I dont love her the same way that I did months ago. It has faded away. Maybe i'd consider being with her if I had the chance. Maybe....
YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

There is so much that I want to do during the holidays. Unfortunately, I have been set backed by my unfit physical condition. Cant even sing. I just hope I can complete it in a month, cause that is all that I have left..

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

I dont get replies. I dont get answers. I dont get directions. I dont get clues. I dont get a damn thing. And I definitely wont get things down right. Wts man.. Wts.

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

For the past few days, i've been looking for alt jobs with hannan. There were packing jobs, marketing, event-based, banquet and more. The thing is, all the time has been wasted. For hannan at least, cause I am not that in a hurry or impatient or eager/despo for a quick buck. First, there were hunts for jobs on the internet with findings of this packing job at alexandra rd. The job was okay, but hannan wanted to wait for jiawei to give a feedback to us since he was working there too. It was alright as it seems, but man.. When the ad or offer on the site was gone, so was hannan's hope for getting that job. Then we went to search for others. We found a few, so we contacted them and waited for their reply. So we waited and waited.. Then one of the contacts got back to us. It was Dom, a sales agent. Well actually, a network markerting agent of a company named, premium pure. They sell health products like highly mineralised water, magnetic theraphy pillow/bed covers, water system, beauty product that is purely made from grade A pearl and other stuffs. So basically, there was no basic pay and that the income was solely based on the products that you sell. If you sell more, you'll earn more and get promoted and get better pay cause the commision will be higher. It was a great way to earn a lot of money in the long term. But.. My parents dont want me to take up the job. Hannan's parents didnt like it either. My mom offered me daily allowance to stay at home and help around with the house rather than to take that job. Oh wells. And Hannan thinks its a scam. Well maybe.. So we "wasted" a day for trg for that job. I wont call it a waste, but thats what hannan feels. Then today, we went to marina for the banquet job. Turns out, it isnt halal. I shouldve known better. I mean, all are the same. I've been thinking about the banquet thing for days. A bad feeling. But I did it for hannan. Then our seniors were there too. Asyur, Faris and another one, kinda forgot the name. Lol >< so they were there, wanting to go. Okay, first of all, me and hannan went there not knowing where to go and all. We were lost. LOST AT MARINA. Then we went through a whole lot just to find the entrance and check in for the staff. That was when we met the seniors. Well, then hannan has been complaining to me throughout the job hunt. I mean i'm there with him. I went through what he went. Made some losses with him. And on top of that, I am physically not as fit as him. I have an MC for goodness sake. Yea. and he thinks he's the only one. I know we made sone mistakes here and there, wasted time and money. But him complaining to me with everything. Oh please, he still has a better life than me. He says he's pissed. Im pissed too but I just dont show it. I just had the thought of me being in rage mode. And yes. I see myself beating the shit out of hannan for his big ass mouth. Sorry ah, but thats tye truth. The hard truth. There's a lot of things I can rage about. But I dont. I dont cause I dont want myself to be that way. I dont want to see myself as a hot tempered guy. A guy who easily snaps and become the hulk. I try to stay calm damn it. If you see me smiling, yiu wont be able to see through me unless youre as awesome as halim or anyone near his standard. I mean, he can just see right through me at times others are totally unaware of it.. So please, I feel the same as you, maybe more, maybe less.. But I think more to the 'more' side. But I just dont show it. If you want me to show my true colours, the next time yiu see yourself in the mirror, it will be black and blue. I dont want that to happen. I dun want to hurt others. I know it, you know it, we all do.. But seriously, if I had not learnt to control myself since like sec 3, I can tell you this. I would be in boy's home for sure, without a doubt. I would follow into my eldest brother's footstep and be a rebel. But thankfully, that didnt happen to me. So please, maintain okayy? All of you reading this. Try to be a bit more sensitive to what you say to others and what you do with them.. Respect each other and things will turn out alright. At least it will have a better plot~

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

I just dont know.. I havent been in the pink of health for the past few weeks. Today is definitely one of the worst. I cant move freely like how I was able to. The left part of my body is in pain. Pain so bad it feels like being stabbed. Okay, maybe its exaggerated, but its worse than a sprained ankle or wrist. Idk whats wrong with me. My sister said, maybe its TB, tuberculosis. Its this disease that can be fatal, but there is a cure for it though. Hopefully, thats not it. I mean.. I'm too young to die. I've done too many sins and have yet to fulfil my dreams and take care of my parents. I have yet to love someone again and stay with her for the rest of my life. Well, i'll just have to pray for the best and my brother smells after showering!! Well the smell if smoking.. Heh.

Oh and theres this show I just happened to watch, "journey with me". I realised that when a typical guy meets rejection from a girl, he will just break down and remain silent. Doesnt really confront to her until quite a while. Well, it happened to me before.. I dont know if all guys are like that. But Idk.. I mean. (hannan's words to me from sufiyah indirectly) The thing about sufiyah is that she says that she's okay with being friends, texting and all, but she doesnt show it. At least not to me. So I cant really understand the situation and what I have to do. I cant really say that I want her in my arms cause I cant figure her out.. Maybe cause I dont really put effort as how I used to. Maybe cause my drive has been lost when she hit me hard the last time. Idk what to do alr.. Hopefully I can make it through the night and hope for a better tmr~ adios!

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

Heyy!! Guess what! Today was quite an interesting day~~ so first off, I had to go to school to attend a day course, the CLE. This was a course for the CCA leaders in NP. Majority that went were the year 1s. I represented track and field with the other comm members Sakinah, Nicholas, Beth and Jeanette. Albert and Calvin(or Kelvin) couldnt make it since they are busy.. I came fashionably late cause im totally kool and all... Was supposed to reach at 0830, so I came in at 0850 and finally settled down by 0900. Oh guess what! The talk started not long after. Whaddup! Yeah man. So for the start of the day, Ms Ng, the staff, wanted to energize the crowd. So she used the kpop song "ring ding dong". Now here's the thing. She considered that a HIP song. She asked if we knew the song. Some of us said no. Duhh, some dun listen to kpop. Guess shat she said.. Yupp. She said "that means i'm more HIP than you guys!" hahaha that was lame. So the crowd was divided into 3, and each given a syllable. I was part of Ding. Everytime our syllable was said, we had to clap. It sounds stupid, I mean it is, but when I saw people actually doing it, I was like okay.. I just joined in for fun even though its dumb. Then, instead of clapping, we had to stand up. Ahah.. Surely no one would do it now! I was proven wrong once again.. It was like shocking and thrilling to see them doing it. So I stood up and shake. Wth right? Hahahah #yolo. Then she moved on to lectures/talks. Lasted til like 10am. Then we met Rhys, our staff advisor. Well at least temporary advisor. He was standing in place of Mr Dalton, whom no one knows who... Hahahah. He's coming in next 2weeks. So we gonna actually miss Rhys, cause he's really a nice guy. By right, NP track should have been closed down for committing too many offences. But cause of Rhys, he had a kind soul and didnt give us a strike. We had a total of 5 chances and alr have 2 strikes, 3 left. Discussed some admin stuff with the comm and Rhys. Heard the problems from the other clubs under Rhys as well. Like the issue of the usage of the swimming pool by the canoeist, swimmers, water polo and life savers. Lol. Then we had another boring talk and then lunch. WOOHOOOO LUNCH. Queued up for le food and then took some seats not far from where the food was. It was a buffet~~ ^.^ I took normal servings cause im scared I cant finish. Pffft. As if that would happen. Nontheless, we started eating. There was curry chix, damn nice lemon sth fish fillet, awesome dhal, fantabulous tahu goreng amd fruit jelly for dessert. I took my first bite, woah~~ damn shiok sia the fish! Then tasted the curry chix.. Siala!! The curry got me choking!! I was still having the bad cough. Then the phlegm I think blocked my gullet or sth, then when I tried swallowing the curry, traffic jam siol!! Tried to swallow down the curry first. But I startex coughing. And coughing. I was like fighting for air! Coughing for air! Used the tissue nic spammed from the buffet. Thank goodness! But I was gasping for air like an asthmatic patient. While fighting for air, tears came out! Idk why or how, but I did!! Then it was so dramatic, I couldve won the oscar for best male actor. Unfortunately, it wasnt an act and I was choking. I think, if thats what you call choking. Even though I didnt look around the people around me were probably looking at me. Cheryl was laughing like a hyena, beth was calm and composed I think?, jeanette was like wtf? Omg. Then nic was, holy cow! What to do? Need more tissue? When I was able to catch my breath again, I was perspiring and sounded like an astmatic patient. Struggling to breathe.. Then I slowly ate my food with caution.. In small bites. Real small bites. Jeanette was like, eat slowly, eat slowly.. Hahaah so apparently, I caught their attention and made it known I was not okay. Hehehe >.<" finished le food, we went back inside to the lecture theatre for a short talk. Then I got the attention of everyone when the lecturer said, "you will only know my name if you know me and my name" along that line. So I replied loudly, "you dont say". LOL ya. So she I got her attention.. It goes on as per normal then we went different workshops. I went to the "how to deal with difficult people" and "learn to play and play to learn" with Sakinah. The workshop wasnt bad at all. Learnt new interesting things. For the second workshop, I got to play. Hahah. Its basically an ice breaker and team building game. The ice breaker was simple but enjoyable. We had to do some weird and funneh stuff. Lol greeting each other in a different language with some twist in it. Did japanese and new zealand style. Hahaha. Then we led a newly-found friend around a route blind folded. Hehehe. Nobody died fortunately.. Aft that, got some sweets. Then had tea, which were just sandwiches, and other light snacks. It was buffet though :> then we had a inspirational talk by a wonderful speaker. He shared his experience with us, about how he became a chef from a lawyer and the challenges he went through with the support from his family and friends. Then it was time to go home! It endes 2h early. So 5pm amd we're good to go. Heheh. Walked to the bus stop with Beth. I realised that me and her, werent gonna work if somehow I could end up tgt. I dont know why.. But still had a nice chat w her :) got on 184 alone and found a seat. Sat down and fell aslp. Heheh. Waa still sleeping when we reached the last stop. Was listening to music with my earpiece on. But somehow, I could hear the driver calling for me from the front. Paiseh siol. Ppl at the bus stop saw what happened. I went down alr, then realised there was another guy sleeping at the back. LOL. Then I transferred to 975 and went home. Forgot what happened next, I can tell you, I was at peace finally.. I found the answer I was looking for :) til the next time! Cheers~

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

I've been coughing all day and all night. The worst of my coughs would occur ar night. Like just now. I've only closed my eyes and fell aslp for less than an hour, but I woke up and started coughing. Then I vomitted in my mouth a bit, and so I rushed to the toilet to let it out. But that small puke evolved into a mega puke. I continued to puke after coughing. As I tried to breathe in deeply,

it felt as though

I chocked and this caused me to like vomit. It happened continuously and

I thought there was no stop to it. But it ened eventually.. Didnt felt good.. Didnt raste good.. I feel like shit... I need to go to t

he doc

tor soon again.. Sigh....

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)