Woohoooo!! Hahahaahah. The last 2 days were awesome! The chalet, I would say, was a SUCCESSS!! It could've been better if more people came. But... Some things that happen are priceless. Like when.. I can't tell you what it was cause its a secret. LOLOLOLOLOL. I can imagine the plausible outcomes if things were to change during the chalet. It wasn't going to turn out like the way it did. We had fun, we had to go through troubled times and smooth sailing ones as well. I wouldn't want the past 2 days to go any other wayy~ I cherished and treasured every moment I spent with my friends. Friends that would chase after me when I run away from them into the darkness for unknown reasons. Friends that would stay by my side through thick and thin. Friends whom I regard as my  family <3<3<3<3<3

Let me tell you the story of Amee in the night of 20/9/12 and morning of 21/9/12.. So picking up from where I had left off, I was last known not feeling well. I had breathing difficulties and loss of appetite. My body was like fucked up. So I went to the bench under the stars to rest. I gazed at the stars and cresent moon.. I thought about my ones. The beauty of nature couldn't be compared to the beauty of their hearts~ if you think that a full moon is amazing, our loved ones are like a million of those.. :') yes they are.. As I was gazing at the brilliant sight of the stars, I unconciously fell asleep in a wejrd but comfortable position on the bench. I was in a deep sleep which reenergized me even though it lasted about half an hour! Amazing!! But, my heart is still weak and I still had difficulties breathing. So I went to take a sip of water and went into one of the rooms. I chilled in the air-con and thought hard. Am I gonna let this chance slip away so easily from my grasp? I hardly get to stay overnight for chalet and such. I had one option I could think of. Get high and follow my motto! Mind over matter! So I know its kinda random for the others, but I took one gulp of red bull for energy. Just one small gulp. Then I entered the clubbing room! Then I started dancing like it was my last night on Earth. I danced like a maniac for a very long time. As the time passed, I came to realise that I was getting high. I was concious but everything seemed so blurr... Never have I been this high before! I continued dancing til my entire body was soaked in perspiration! I danced and danced and did some things which I later on thought was quite diagusting.. Hahahah. I painted the bathroom door and mopped the floor. LOLOLOLOL. Then, when DJ Haikal played slow songs and songs which were meant to be Karaoke-d, I felt it. I felt the song and got emotional. Then at one point of time, I danced myself into the wardrobe to cover up my tears.. The song that was playing was "A thousand years". After the song finished, I rushed out of the wardrobe, scaring evryone in the room, and exit the room and then left the bangalow to the pool like a drunk dude. I knew my friends would chase after me. I was right. They cared. But I wanted to be alone.. Imran caught up with me, but I told him to leave me alone and told him to tell the others to go back as well.. But they were stubborn. Haikal then came into the picture. I gave him a choice, he could either staye with me or he could just go back along with the others.. He stayed like I knew he would. I crashed into the slide area and broke into a million pieces. The others didn't follow me up to the top of the water slide, they just waited somewhere nearby.. I cried so loud I knew they could hear it and the other chalet residence could have heard it too. At that point of time, I didn't give a shit about anything. I talked like there was no stop to it. When a story finishes, i'll continue to another one. Whether it was a fairy tale or novel, I just told Haikal bout it. Not long after that, Billy came. I knew, but I just didn't look. By then, the rest of my friends had gone back to the chalet. I continued with my chatterboxing. It continued for a long time, til I was calm-er.. Lols. Then, we talked liked normal. First, I cried my heart out, then I talked my heart out. Soon, I think I will be out of heart to give a fuck to her. But I hope that day doesn't come. I don't want to some cruel bitch. I want to be peaceful person. Not as in doesn't talk at all.. I don't to have enemies, but if I do happen to have any, I'll have to contain myself like what i've been doing for the past few years. The only time when I can't contain myself is when my enemy has gone too far. Even so, I didn't take it out on them. I took it out on balls. Football.. Hahahah. I don't want to waste my time on a prick like him. Fuck him thats why. Also, I don't want others to see my anger and true colours when i'm angry. I can say i'm similar to the hulk in a way.. I just don't turn green or brawny. But I can smash :( when I smash, I like lose control. And I don't want innocent ppl to get hurt cause of me. Sigh.. Everyone has this part of them which they hate, but we justhave to learn to control. When we can control this part of us, we get stronger and can convert it into sth useful. Use it as a motivation for example. So as I was saying, I don't have full control of this ugly side of me, but I know how to deal with it. But thats a point for me right? Lolololoololololl. Okay, so after this whole thing was finished, me, billy and haikal went back to the chalet. We made this plan to do a surprise cheer when we got there. Planned it so well but I screwed up a bit. And the timing was wrong. There was a problem with the toilet door of room 2. The water was running and no one was inside. Creepy siol. Turned out the door was spoilt. The door need repairing sia. 2 doors that gave us problems .. Then we slacked all night. Nth much happened until about 6. Watched the beautiful sun rise was magnificent. If it wasn't so foggy, it would've been so much better. The sun was so red and huge.. Hahahahah. I just wished she was there with me to watch the sun rise. Next time maybe.. If everything  turns out the way I hoped it would, i'll be so damn happy!! :') if not, just being her bestie would be okay I guess.. I just want to have the chances to be with her. And I didn't know KL was waiting for me.. D: oh mann.. Well, at least I left her in the hands of a worthy guy. I hope it turns out fine btwn them. I guess getting closer to her means i can keep up with their story and hopefully change it for the better. Heheh.. So all in all, I was high during the entire chalet. It was 3D2N very well spent!! It was Legend..wait for it.. Dary. LEGENDARY!!

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

Wahh.. the past few hours have been tough on me man. Not only was I not like not feeling okay inside, but outside also :( At first, it was only no appetite to eat, those normal things I experience when I dun have the mood or lack sleep. But now, its like after I drank coffee plus red bull or when I ate something wrong. My heart feels kinda weak. Weak. I don't know whats wrong. It feels heavy. Heavy. Like sth is restricting my breathing. I can't breathe like I normally do.. :( I've been hiding it since the morning, but a few hours ago, it got wore and I just can't bear to hide it.. cause if I do, I would like be forcing myself to take drugs, the horrible kind. Doing and giving things that my body can't handle well. So now, I'm resting. LONER... Thats what Tricia said when she saw me. Then I was like.. OH GOD.. well, I'd better rest.. Bye.. YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

Hey guys! Its been a week if I'm not wrong since I last updated. I guess I'm gonna update weekly :)  hopefully.. The past few days have been quite intense. Maybe cause I've finally decided to start work again! hahahah. I need the extra cash to support me during the holidays. 7 weeks of holidays, and I get like $20 in total? That was for like the first week of holidays. And of course, I go to school at least thrice a week. At least 3 times. So I had to rely on my raya collection. What that is left of it  la.. Standard $150 was deposited in le bank. so I have like $100+ to spare. Then there was this extra $50 from previous withdrawal, which I didn't deposit back. lol. my loss anyway >.<"

So last  Friday, it was quite well spent. In the morning, I woke up like usual, at about 10. Wasted my time with my phone and then I ate branch. Supposed to meet my friends -Norman, Mustaqim, Zahin- at woodlands at 12.30, but it didn't work out as planned cause Norman couldn't get out of bed in time. He woke up before 11, but was lazy. hahahahaah. Typical of him! So ended up me, Norman, Zahin solat at Al-Khair, the mosque in CCK. To get Zahin to find me and Norman was like asking a a small boy to find his mom in a shopping mall he barely know. Me and Norman met Cikgu Sazali and Senan while waiting for Zahin to arrive. Had some empty conversation I would say. Its like every time when we meet him, we would talk/discuss about the same thing over and over again. hahah. So we went to Mus' house once we got together. We played le Xbox! There was some shooting game we played, forgot the name. lol. sorry, I'm not  really a gamer or anything. It was loads of fun! I killed my opponents a few times, once DEAD SMACK IN THE FACE!! Take that Norman!! Muahahahaah. But Mus was the Pro la :) He's been playing it for quite a long time, soo yea.. :):) then we moved on to play Fifa, which I practically gifted in. hahahahah. as a dribbler at least :> I used the goalkeeper to dribble out and went on to cover 3/4 of the field. Then I lost the ball.. Well, the keeper, not my team :P After that was lunch! or tea.. cause it was like 4+, going to 5. As usual, Mus' mom's cooking was SEDAP!! ^^ Oh, that day was his parents' birthday as well! Bot his mom and dad's. So before Me and Norman left, we wished her a Happy Birthday. Zahin stayed behind cause he din have anywhere to go to. Norman and I had training, so we left early. We were late, but we went anyway. Better late than never! hahaha. During training, my ankle and shin was still injured, so I did an alternative workout. Build  my back muscle, quadracepts, core and a bit of form.. Did them properly cause I didn't want to lose behind and fall below my goals. So that was that!

During the weekends, I had not much planned out. Saturday, I met up with Norman to slack. Of al the places, we went to school. Why? Cause he's not the "Town" kinda guy or anything. So school it was. Its not that bad of a place to study/slack actually :) All day long 6h around there. We went home at 10 I think. Wanted to eat outside, but my mom called and told me to eat at home. "There's food at home" she said. when I got home, there was food, but it wasn't enough for me. So I had to fry myself an egg.. :( Well, at least it satisfied my hunger! :D On Sun, nth much really happened. Went to my Ustazah's house to visit her, my teacher. The the rest of the day ws spent at home watching HIMYM and TV, I think.. Lololololool. Mon was a rotting day at home too :(

Tue, I came to school early cause Haikal wanted a laptop charger. So I met him at 1pm, with Leon. Then we talked and talked, did some printing and stuff for Leon and then we went to the clubroom to slack off.. Leon had to go off.. Haikal and I dicussed and planned for the Ignite Freshie Chalet WHICH I AM CURRENTLY AT!! WAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHA :D:DD:D:D then, we went for training. Surprisingly, actually not, coach was strict for punctuality. Next training, those who come late for training will be punished. Woah, fierce sia! I guess thats the discipline we need to have for POLITE. I also only came to know that my NAPFA test is next week! OMG!! I am so totally not prepared for it, especially my 2.4km run. Now I think I can run like 13min a sial! an I need at least 11.50 to get a silver (to be able to enter POLITE) I have to train for it man.. I CAN DO IT!! :) I laso had good news on Tuesday! I jumped a distance of 5.3m!! According to coach's estimation anyway. 0.5m away from my target and qualifying distance for POLITE! I CAN DO IT!!

So now I am at the chalet!! WOOHHOOOOOO!! I woke up psyched up for it!! 10am on the dot, I woke up, packed my stuff. Done on like a jiffy. hahaha. the I went back to sleep.. LOLOLOLOL. Woke up at 1030. then I took a bath and ate my breakfast. WATCHED TV for a while, then headed out. OMG. the buying of things for the BBQ and chalet was so confusing. I first asked Haikal bout it. He was coming late, at 2pm, so he told me to ask the other hosts of the chalet. So I asked Wardina. She didn't know anything bout it. She was like, "huh? yiipppiieee!!!" hahahahah. That was typical of her! always cheerful and happy no matter the situation! So then I asked Billy. He was on a totally different boat. So he told me a different story. So in the end, I just headed out to Pasir Ris and slacked there. Waited for Haikal to come. Met him, then we ate at Ananas Cafe and the off to E Hub. Oh, we saw this shop 7pm, which was supposingly ananas cafe too, selling Nasi Lemak set A & B. lololololol. So Haikal, Willie and I went to E-Hub to meet JY and Leon to buy le good stuff! hahaha. so ended up, I paid for it first. A WHOOOPING $130 from my pocket. I hope I get my moneh soon. Now I have like $40-50 bucks in collection. I'm gonna be a loan shark! nyeheheheheh >:) so then we headed off to the chalet! HAIKAL, JY & I went first. We kinda got lost on our way. took a long time for us to get to the right place. But when we arrived, F YEAH!! We got the Bungalow to ourselves! :D Its huge!! and awesome!! Wardina was waitingoutside for us! She was scared to go in alone. hahaahah. So we unpacked our stuff first, then me and Wardina checked for the things in the chalet, making sure everything was fine. Then after that, Me and Haikal CLUBBED in the room so hard, we got tired in like 20 min. HAHAH. Then I went to fetch Denzel with Kai ling, KaiQi, Matthew and Wardina. Kai ling was in the trolley. I pushed her so hard and fun, she was terrified. LOL. I almost got us into an accident, but luckily, Willie saved us! THANKS A WHOLE  LOT!! heheh. Then, I got into the trolley, and Denzel almost killed me! wah, he damn fearless and reckless sia! >.< For a snorlax, he was quite active. lolololol. Then we started the BBQ! :)) Although not many turned up as expected, about 20 ppl, i was FUN!! :) with the right people, we can have fun easily! :) The BBQ didn't end like how we expected, cause we ran out of charcoal. And our chalet is like soo deep inside, that its hard to get to any shop. So we decided to leave it for later. more ppl will be comingi a few hours time. OMG. I'm still awake! all the rest are asleep.. those in my room at least. hahah. After BBQ, I clubbed with Haikal in the room again. Then we OMEGLED!! LOLOLOLOLLOOLOLLOLOL. That was like one of the best moments of the first day. So many interesting ppl and things that happened during that time. Then we went to another room to tell and listen to ghost stories... Oooooooooooooooooooooooo.. A lot of stories we shared. A lot of screams to!! hahahahaha. The best scare goes to Pan Liang I would say. He got everyone when Billy was telling one of his stories! He knock on one of the windows of the room from the outside. Billy was like "Its not funny man! (pointing to one window) Hey! its not funny at all sia!! Don't try to scare us! (pointing to another window!)" LOLOLOLOL. That was the best man!So the main story tellers were Billy, me and Denzel. :) at one point, KL was trying out the scary animation online while Denzel was telling a story. Everyone was focusing on KL and left Denzel talking to the wall. LOL that was hilarious la.. he dragged the story to make KL finish the animation faster. Then We played slender!! AWESOME MOMENT. KL was like damn scared! she wouldnt even face the screen at first! but i was like, 'eh, watch leh.. nothing to be scared of" I kept on persuading her. so she ended up watching and continuously got scared. Me and Billy should have switched place man.. :( During that time, KL kept on holding on to me and pinching me! oh damn! I rmb the time when Elaine used to do that with me.. I was like imagining that she was there with me.. :) it makes me smile. Though its not real, I can feel it like its so real. I saw her natural golden hair colour in the dark, her light and smooth skin.. It was all so real... :')This happened again but she was closer to me.. I wanted to react like how I would to Elaine, but it was KL. and Billy was beside her.. Both were scared as fuck watching the horror movie! LOL. Since it was KL, I couldn't go that far.. :/ My heart was like... I"m missing her! SO VERY BAD. Every time. Every time I try to contact her, it will never be a real conversation and every time I try to meet her, she would  like decline in a way.. Then she would say " I'll text you after exams" or " Let's meet up after exams".. Those words of her would be forgotten by her, but would be remembered by me. cause it means so much to me to meet her and have a conversation. Then finally, After the movie ended, me and Billy went into a room to slack and play the ukulele. Then Wardina, Kaiqi and KL came in. Billy played the ukulele and the 3 girls fell aslp. hahaha. He plays it so well man! Even though not perfect, he played it with his soul. He scored pretty much with KL today! lol. But when he played Canon, wah.. tears rolled down my eyes and cheeks. It was like so damn emotional la the song.. I thought of Elaine and all those good times we had.. Then not long later, everyone fell asleep.. And I started to blog.. Til now.. hahah. I've been blogging for like 1h +!! This post took me like more than 1h!! LOLOLOLOL. kk time for me to chillax.. :) Cheers! :)


YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

Everything we intend to do is simple plan. Its whether its difficult or easy, long or short. To think about it, it seems easy and do-able. I seems like long term seems short. But after a while, the motivation we hold slowly fades away. Motivation. Thats the key success. Part of it at least.. hahaha. Well, I dunno why I'm talking about this. I guess its been in my mind for a while now. I lack motivation, probably. But I've come to known what I've been pushing myself for. For my parents. For my own interest. For the world. For the universe. For the galaxy. For fun. hahahah. There as a point of time when studying seemed to be loads of fun.. not long ago. so it wasn't really called studying when you're having fun right? lols. But that all didnt last when the information I had to take in COMPILED INTO SOMEWHAT THE HEIGHT OF MT. EVEREST. yeah it was that much for me. so i just threw it into the pacific.. dumb idea right? :/ well, now that I've done quite badly in my studies for the first semester, I can't fool around anymore. I can't lose my focus. I need to get back my motivation I once lost. hahahah. enjoy this video I stumbled upon :)


YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

The title says it all. This very short post will be about the sport I'm in. Currently, my recorded PB is 4.7m. for me, it isn't bad, but not good enough. My aim is 5.5m my POLITE. I know I can do it! about 1 m away. I need strength workouts first of all. That's what I want. 2 months left. I can do it!


CHERIOS!! :D YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

YELLOW. I mean.. HELLO. I haven't been blogging lately cause I've been away from my laptop and training and slacking. There's a lot of things I haven't done and I don't think I can do some of them, sadly.. Well, yesterday was rather productive I would say! woke up at 1am, then 6am, then 8am and finally i really woke up at 9+ am. hahahah. dayumm.. I can't seem to wake up early, or rather want to wake up early.. maybe cause there nothing important that I have to do yet. like usually, I have school and work to push me to wake up. But now, my trainings are in the evening and nothing really happens in the morning. maybe I have to do some core and stamina workouts to start off the day. hmm.. the idea is there~ nyeheheh.. so yesterday, there was a Freshies vs GLs football match! it ended as a draw 6-6, but i'd say the Freshies won. We were down 8 men from the start. It became from 8v11 to 8v12to 9v12 to 10v11. Its was tough, but i had to say we played well. MVP goes to Matthew Reddians. hahahah. Kahiril was the next best! baik..
Here are the pics form Pancake!

First IV

Informal!! :P

MIMI FREAK

Mimi conered~ ;)

DUCK FACE

GK Model

Awesome Defender :))

Potential Model

Cute couple - Tabin & Khairil

Act tough Joel >.<"

MVP Matthew!! (Y)

Torres Matthew Peter James Seow

Psycho Epic Organiser, NIGEL

HAPPY FRESHIES & GLs!! :DD

Cheers~ ^^v YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

As of now, I can safely say that I'm heartbroken. I know its not really safe, but fml la. I know I'm not the only one that goes through this sequence in life, but its just too sadd :'( yeah, its about her. now I'm like shadow in her life. no. i'm like the aglet of her shoelace. aglet. the tip of the shoelace. I am important at a point of time, known, but as time passes I'm just there. Forgotten if i'm important or not. Then when I'm broken or anything, i won't be repaired. I'll be replaced and thrown away. More than 90% of people would even think that an aglet can be repaired. Since I've time right now, I'll tell you the whole story if I can. I'll try to make it brief. So we started out about 3-4 years ago. During sec 2 camp. We were in the same group. Although my memories are vague, I'll tell you what I still remember. I remembered her as the pretty one. In my group, there was no one that could be compared to her. not that i remembered of. Well, last time, she was more of the cute-pretty type. hahah. but still, I found to be really attractive. but, at that time, I wasn't looking for a partner yet. I wasn't ready. I wasn't mature. I wasn't prepared at all. so i let it all slip out of my hands and focused to be the clown of my group. I became the Mascot of my group. I became BUBBLE BOY. lololololololololololollol. I was hyper and crazy. what can I say, thats just my nature. So cause of that, I was caught in the spotlight. I know that she was with Glennys most of the time, if i'm not wrong.. lols. Then it moved on to when I was in sec 3, a few months later.. I surprisingly did quite well for my final year exams and was allocated to AWESOME 3P1!!! Hahahahah. One of the girls that caught my eyes was none other that the Queen of Spades, Elaine.. GOSH!! her presence couldn't be neglected and not felt. Then I was close to Rachel, my beloved grandmother. SHe plays a very important role in my life i can tell you. She's been there through thick and thin. She might be small, but she is BIG in my eyes. My heroine. haahahah :) I can't remember everything, but i know pieces of it.I remember the times when I approached her to tease her. and make her laugh. there are like only a few people I go up to. Oh, I was seated in the first row, third column from the door. ad i was like 3 tables away from me. she sat on the second row, first column. We weren't far apart at all. heh.. I used to take every opportunity to spend my time with her. I cherished every moment i had . cause i knew it wouldn't last that long. I was wrong though.. It went on and on.. Another interesting thing that i did, Norman, Halim and I created a list of the most beautiful girls individually. We had similar girls on our list but I had one girl they didn't have. Elaine.. hahahah. I wasn't surprise though. what can i say... xD to be honest, I've never liked a girl out of my league, cause I knew i wouldn't stand a chance at all. but as I grew older, I became more mature. not totally, but more.. hahahah. I also became more daring for sure. So I became a fearless bastard and a risk taker. Taking risks is what i now do often. I realised that only risks can make you achieve something great. things many people don't get. Other than that, she texted me first!! lol but for a class relay msg. that was how i got her number. then i started to text her. slowly, but at an increasing rate. :) to me, it wasn't awkward at all when it all started. So it went on at home and at school. We got close and I could be considered as her good friend by the end of the year :) I was one step closer to letting her fall into my arms. This, however, didn't last when I came to knew that she was alr attached. I was sad at first, but I still have faith in myself. I had to wait. It was the right thing to do. I knew myself well. I wasn't a scumbag. I wasn't at all a selfish bastard or anything of that sort. So I didn't interfere with her relationship. So the holidays came after our final year exams! Time to enjoy! HAHAHAH. but frankly, I can't rmb what the hell I did. lololololol. I knew for sure it was well spent. If I'm not mistaken, I went for outings, met up with my buddies and I frequently went out to play football! :D oh, I also tried to study, but i probably got distracted. then came sec 4. the epic year when I had the most fun and the year when I knew what it was like to really study.The year flew by like it was only a few months. le first thing that I did that contributed to Elaine's year was voting her to be the class chairperson. I knew she needed the cca points. her cca didn't really helped her much. It gave her about 15 points around there and she needed 5 more. so she had to take up a role in leadership or anything else that would give her the boost. In a way, I changed her life. though it might not be significant, I did what i could to help. Seng Wee was elected as the vice-chairperson. Now here's the thing.. Seng Wee is my very close friend, my brother, my abang.. We had a good history for 4 years :) I was close to him, and his partner was Elaine. you'd know where this would go. Seng Wee was the bridge btwn me and Elaine in administrative situation. So I got more involved in class events and stuff. It wasn't bad at all.. I had to say this helped me in my character. I was more focus, became more initiative and more outstanding, not afraid to share and show. in a good way of course. heheheh. So in events, I would volunteer to be this and to be that. So back to the story, I got even closer to Elaine. I still tease her and stuff.. But I took a step forward when I decided to send her home one day. It was a fine day, with a fine lady~ ^.^ She took a route she usually took and I learnt it in a few min. lol. I spent the time with her learning about her, getting closer to her :) I got to know quite a lot like how she hates not only insects, but animals too. she still lives her life to the fullest, living like a kid whenever she can. walking home with her makes me feel like doing things i used to do when i was young.. well, i still do those stuffs anyway. LOL. there is this one thing about her that makes it all different. Its her aura. she gives off this vibrant feeling.. the way she smiles.. the way she walks.. the laughter she makes.. the glow. she has the glow.. you'll know it when you see it. seeing her home was the step i took which made my day and others too. I began to send her home whenever I could. then, one day in class, Ms Rashidah, our social studies teacher, told the class ghost stories.. this scared the hell out out of Elaine. she almost cried! :( oh I wished i was sitting beside her so i could've comforted her. Jie Yi (her tablemate) did a fine job of doing that though. So during that period after the stories were told in class, I was asked by Elaine and Jane to send them home. Jane's another good friend of mine :) I was like so happy that she wanted me to send her home. I felt like a bodygaurd. so big and strong. protecting her w my life. hahahah. detour~~ For me in life, I want to be the one who can give guidance and protection to others then they need it. I wan to be the one who can be relied on to give them what they need when  they feel insecure. I want others to be comfortable and happy with what they have and what i can afford to give. if i can do it, i WILL do it for them. so back to the story. I was le one. le knight in shining armor, summoned to protect le beautiful princess :) Oh, there was this one time that she came to me and hugged me in the arm, seeking protection. I can't rmb what for exactly, but it was like I'm flying high into the sky.. on cloud9.. her skin was so smooth, her hair was fine and silky.. ooohh~ that feeling was... DAYUMM!! hehehehe. It may not seem like a big deal, yeah i know.. but it was like wow! BOOOMZ! level up! lolololol. I'll skip to graduation day.. before even going there, I promised Elaine that I would not only make her a graduation card, I would make her 10 cards compiled tgt to me a mini graduation book. I didn't know if she took me lightly for it or not, but I had to keep my word. I spent nights making card for her and the whole class and other friends of mine. I made over 50 cards, 2 pages each. Elaine's card was the most difficult to make. 20 pages. what could i fill up 20 pages with..? I had to be creative. for her, I would think of ways to fulfill my promise to her. I filled it up with a graduation message, a mini story, nicknames we had for each other, personal things and drawings. This was the first time I ever drew something for anyone (except for classes). I spent 1 night alone drawing for her card to near perfection. It wasn't easy. I'm not an artist or anywhere near, but determination and perseverance help me pull through. I knew I loved her when I was doing this. I cried in the process too.. But it was all for her. I spent about 3+ days to finish her graduation cards alone. I had 50+ others to go.. So I spent a whooping week and more to finish everything. This was a month+ before O-levels, the major exams. So i struggled with my studies an this graduation. I made it through both! I had to say, I had it in me and more.. Perseverance, determination, responsibility integrity and passion. I live by these main values and others as well. I know that if we follow by these values, we will strive to greater heights and go beyond our limits. So during the graduation day, we were exceptionally happy! I could sense that Elaine was somehow attached to me. she was closer to me then ever before.. She made me smile. she made my day :):):):):) we had lunch at pizza hut together as a group. It was fantastic. The meal was great, and i sat diagonal to her. I kept looking at her most of the time. she's so beautiful! :> teehee.. I went off to meet my bros and she went somewhere else with her friends. Spent the rest of the day celebrating! read the cards i received. I was touched and delighted. Then I received an sms. It was from her:

"Fahmi, thank you for the 20 pages card..It may not be the best looking one but I love it most. Honestly,I rmbr you from the sec2 camp.. You were a clown to me then and I didn't pay much attention to you either. It is through last year I found out you were a fun and great friend to be with. You cared about me, about how I feel. You accompanied home when I was scared of the ghost stories. Most importantly, you were there when I needed a helping hand. Like for just now when me and Jane were playing. I know you were there to prevent me from falling. I appreciate it. I could sense your care for me these two years. I read some parts of the card and, and I was touched. I wanted to give you a hug but no I can't. I'm sorry I was so direct in saying I'm attached. But I don't wanna lie to you. Thank you for being a such a wonderful friend.You know you're the first best Malay friend I ever had. I'm not being racist, but its  fact.We'll hang out after o lovels okay. I love you, for who you are, as my good friend :))"

This was her reply to my graduation card to her.. i read it over and over again.. I knew I still had a chance. I just had to wait. But, it didn't work out. She got far away from me as she was in junior college now, and I'm in polytechnic. Her time table is so packed that she doesn't have time for me.. who am I to her? just an aglet. She rarely replies me. She's not to be blamed.. I don't know if I should let her go or not.. I'm not even sure if i'm her good friend anymore.. I don't know if she even thinks about me. She used to tell me her problems, and I would listen and give her my advise.. now i'm like a nobody to her. hidden away, probably forgotten.. :( it kills me to think about her.. Here's a song which relates to the situation.. I think.. Enjoy~


YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)

Heyy guys! Its been a long while since I updated le blog. Now, it's time for me to do it once again. I've been away on training camp basically. And after that, training again. So you guys know i'm in track and field right? Well, POLITE is coming soon, in about 2 months. POLITE is a competition among the tertiary schools.  BUT the thing that worries me is that the past trainings, my coach have been training me for high jump. I won't say its bad cause there is only one person from year 1 doing it. He's none other than the fatass HAIKAL. hahahaha. He might say he's fat, but fuck that shit! his thighs are MUSCLE. damn huge meaty thighs full of muscles. LOL. He's awesome and his PB is currently 1.75m. For a guy who just started out high jump, thats impressive. For my standard at least. Now I can only jump 1.5m. hahah. still a long long way to go. I hope. I just hope that I can enter POLITE as a long jumper. cause right now, there is still a senior high jumper who can participate, Kar Loke. I've seen my improvements. Its good I tell you guys! I"M PSYCHED UP!! But I din get the chance to do a full jump :( No matter! I shall continue to train hard. By the end of the year, I'm gonna break the 5.5m barrier for long jump! and If i continue with high jump, I'll reach 1.7m!! woohoooo!! hahahaha. high hopes for a guy who just started jumps. Well, I've got something. Passion. Like my trackmates say, Passion beats talent. It might not be totally true, but I'll have passion on my side :)

HAIKAL :D

Some day.. Someday I would be able to jump high and far, cycling in the air~ ^^

YoU aRe NoT aLoNe~ =)